While I remember

Okay, so the last few days, nobody has been home at all. I live in a shared house, so it's nice having nobody in from time to time.

However, earlier today, I was doing 'my thing' in the bathroom and I hear an almighty crack. 'What the fuck was that?' Then it dawns on me.

The toilet seat just snapped.

To be fair, I'm not that heavy - the seat has been at a funny angle for a while. Just to make sure, I weighed myself afterwards - lighter than I've been for a good while, so it's reassuring to know it's not me that is directly responsible.

In the meantime, I 'fixed' the seat to make it look normal and un-broken. That way, the next person to sit down is going to feel guilty and fat when the seat 'snaps'.

I'm pretty mean, eh?